Shonisani's Seeds

70% cocoa , 30% ambition . Today I've got a guest chef in my soul, stewing up all sorts of thoughts in the kitchen . This one is for the kids, who were told they didn't listen, being taught in foreign languages, bribed with mirrors which reflected miracles, because oh how that melanin has a diamond glisten. How could we not marvel at our own reflection, it must've been the first time we attested to your God's perfection. Yet you turned us against each other, using greedy lines to divide and conquer, till we couldn't recognize our home, so we couldn't identify our brothers. You put laws in place, to make sure, that what's "yours" will always be yours. Reclaiming what was claimed, same house,  all you did was replace the door. Every day i break through your prejudice, as my skin precedes my name. For generations that were, & for those to come, whispering to each other, " it doesn'...

I heard someone say that rap is over, i say good rap is hard to find like a 3 leaf clover. Others are rapping in Italics, when they need to go bolder. I only realize this now, the more i get older. I heard someone say that rap is stupid, i say hearing good rap is like switching places with cupid. Going up to your crush, feeling like the new kid. Shaking through your body, until it filters you lucid. I heard someone say that rap is closed off, i say good rap makes you want to take your clothes off. Get naked while you're cooking, even though the stove's off. Then standing in the mirror, checking yourself out, 'me, myself & i' type of pose off. I heard someone say that rap is negative, i say it's what you make it,  it's your prerogative. and if you find yourself listening, whilst losing your positive. You probably need to adjust your behavior with it, and just let it be cognitive. I heard someone say...

Your soul seeps into mine, you are my evidence that God is divine . Your very presence causes mine to incline , only when you're not by my side, is when all my tears come together to cry. You're my beehive, home base to the deep honey cave that stores my love, home base to the intricate nerves you wake up, i just can't get enough. You my love,  you sit on your throne right above my love , you keep me tough , ready to fight any battle that comes my way, ready to " kill " anyone that tries to take you away , you're mine. I'll say it over and over again till i die , being loved by you gives me my ultimate high, even when you just say "Hi." , i remember why i'm alive, and every time you leave me, i recognize the pain of loss, normal people feel when a loved one dies. You're mine. I'll say it again and again and again, we were lovers , and then we became friends, ...

I want to learn how to be less impulsive, I don't know how many times I do or say something and then,  3 days later I'm laying in bed watching The Mindy Project and,  I think to myself : "Shoni WHY?!" How do things seem like such a mistake in hindsight but while it's happening nothing seems off? Being impulsive gets tricky, it really isn't as magical as the movies make it seem. Although, one time I bunked school impulsively to go to Cavendish (a mall in Cape Town) and I landed up seeing Keri Hilson. ( Of course this is before she dissed Beyoncé,  so I was really excited.) Impulsive people like to live by non ruley type rules like, "no regrets" ,  as to not regret anything done during an impulsive streak! So now when you, as an impulsive person, are regretting an impulsive act, the disappointment in yourself is monumental, because you really could've stayed at home. It's worse when you re...

My mind has been swarming with a lot of " what ifs " lately. " what if i was actually born with small eyes?" " what if i was raised in a village with no WiFi?" " what if i was taller?.. or just what if i was tall?" At first i was ignoring them, you know those " what if i don't hear my alarm tomorrow morning ?" thoughts you have, then you pass out, and you wake up one minute before your alarm is about to go off. Phew. Then it got way more serious, i'd be like " what if i bump into my crush on campus and i'm looking hella crusty ?" and then it happened... that day, while i was looking crusty. Not so much phew but, at that moment i was sure of two things : 1) i had superpowers and, 2) i just didn't know how to use them yet. Ha! No but seriously, at that moment i was sure of two things, 1) my thoughts are very powerful and, 2) woman's intuition is a real thing . I ...

Sometimes i find myself reading the news, i should know better because it really is all extremely depressing , but one day the curious cat in me had me reading this tragic article. It was about a man who killed his wife for insurance money to support his children. The news article painted this husband out to be abusive and irrational, the deceased woman was glorified as a loving wife and patient mother, and all i as the reader had to do was to simply just.... drink it all in, gobble gobble gobble. I mean,  what's the difference between fiction and fact if you can't even read a news article that doesn't  vilify  and sensationalize it's own subjects? Why can't i decide for myself who deserves my empathy? What if they had it all wrong? That's when my mind started to really wonder, if anyone really stands a chance these days regarding what they understand the truth to be. Has the truth become somewhat of a taboo? And how do you ex...