Sometimes you need to be alone!

Sometimes i find myself reading the news,

i should know better because it really is all extremely depressing,

but one day the curious cat in me had me reading this tragic article.

It was about a man who killed his wife for insurance money to support his children.

The news article painted this husband out to be abusive and irrational,

the deceased woman was glorified as a loving wife and patient mother,

and all i as the reader had to do was to simply just.... drink it all in, gobble gobble gobble.

I mean, what's the difference between fiction and fact if you can't even read a news article that doesn't vilify and sensationalize it's own subjects?

Why can't i decide for myself who deserves my empathy?

What if they had it all wrong?

That's when my mind started to really wonder,

if anyone really stands a chance these days

regarding what they understand the truth to be.

Has the truth become somewhat of a taboo?

And how do you expect to "find yourself" in a world where 

even outsiders have to fit in on the outside?

I think it's simple, take a deep breath and just be yourself.
Stop trying to look for what you are and just sit in what you've become.
I'm not saying be complacent,
but i don't think that roaming far outside your comfort zone determines how
"you" you are, you know?
I think more than anything, wherever you are in the world,
being alone is one way to try and figure yourself out.

I mean, i'll be the first to admit that,

i didn't really value the time i spent alone,

 until this year,

and before this year,

 i would've sworn to you that i knew exactly who i was.

But i think that once i got used to thinking things through alone,

i truly began to understand what type of person i was,

the good, the bad, the ugly and everything else in between,

and once i took the time to do this, 

i began to really appreciate the type of woman i was.

Now i know that i'm prone to taking risks,

 and i think it makes my outlook on life more exciting.

My curiosity sometimes supersedes my rationality,

and that's how i know that i wear my heart on my sleeve.

As long as you don't try and put me in a corner,

i'm sure our personalities won't collide.

You may not like loud opinionated people,

but that's none of my business,

because that's who i am and i'm okay with that.

I fear that sometimes people think that their opinion of me matters enough to shake me,
but not even when i reprimand myself, am i shook.

 I'm more inspired.

I've come to realize that not even i can control my strong will,
which is a blessing in disguise because you don't baby a lioness.

Finally,

I hate saying no, 

i really completely just dislike it.

I wish i could just say yes to everything and see what happens,

but the way the world is set up,

leaps of faith have become really expensive.

So, i think it's normal to find yourself lost

in a world where finding yourself is a "revelation",

because in actual fact,

we're all knowingly stuck in the system,

screaming about freedom,

wailing about about injustice,

trying to claw our way back,

 out of this situation we're in,

 a situation we didn't even know we were getting ourselves into.